Nintendo Direct March 8th, 2018

So I just finished watching the Nintendo Direct that was aired today on March 8th, and they packed a lot of things in it.  Whether those things were noteworthy or not is dependent on the fan, but the truth is a lot of information was still shared in the span of a half hour.  I should have been doing this blog while watching, so I'm only going off memory and I'll mention the ones that I felt were worth mentioning.

3DS news started the show off with a string of announcements.  The first announcement they had was for a new WarioWare game.  I absolutely loved the WarioWare games and this was one of Nintendo's franchises that lay dormant for some time.  From the sounds of it, the game's going to be the biggest WarioWare yet.  Really looking forward to it!

Detective Pikachu is a game that looks like it could be interesting, but since I've never been a Pokemon fan (GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP), I doubt I'd play it.  I'll keep my eyes on it, though.  If reviews turn out to be great, I'll give a shot.  I do like quirky concept games.  Hell, Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle turned out to be one of the best games I played last year.

A remake of Luigi's Mansion is headed to the 3DS, and to be honest, I'm a bit miffed.  Part of me is upset because it's coming to the 3DS and not the Switch, and the other part of me is upset because it's not really much of a remake.  I'd rather have a new Luigi's Mansion altogether, particularly on Switch.  I loved Luigi's Mansion, but not nearly enough to buy it again on the 3DS.

They also announced a port of Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story headed to the 3DS.  Great game, loved it on the DS, but there isn't any kind of treatment or extra content they can include to get me to buy it again.  I'd MUCH rather have them make a brand new Mario and Luigi.

Then the Switch announcements came.  Of course, they were going to show off Dark Souls, a game we already knew was coming, but they also announced a new Amiibo for it.

Now, I played the hell out of Dark Souls and would love to play it again on the Switch, but sadly I don't think I'd ever find the time to do so.  Everyday, it's getting harder and harder to catch up on my backlog, and Dark Souls on Switch would only make that worse.  If I was going to get Dark Souls on Switch, I'd definitely get this Amiibo though.

They showed off a bit of Mario Tennis: Aces and I have to say that I am really excited for this game! The Mario Tennis franchise hasn't had a decent entry since the GameCube version.  The 3DS version was a letdown and the Wii U version was so bare bones, I didn't even bother with it.  With Nintendo's current trend of taking Wii U games and porting them to the Switch, I'm happier than happy that they decided NOT to go that route with this series and instead build upon its gameplay and also bring back a proper story mode.  Can't wait to play this game!

And then there's this:

Although this is a fanmade box art, it got confirmed that Crash is heading toward the Switch.  I keep forgetting that Crash isn't a Sony owned IP.  I'm also annoyed by the fact that I still haven't gotten around to play my PS4 version and had I known that this was coming to the Switch, I would have held off.  God dammit, this is the perfect Switch game.  I might just trade up.  I don't know.

Adding to another game that I wish I didn't buy for the PS4 because it's instead coming to the Switch is South Park: The Fractured But Whole.  To quote the great Cartmann, "GOD DAMMIT!"  Seriously, the Switch is proving to me that if I just hold off on getting games for the PS4, they'll eventually come to the Switch.

More gameplay was shown for the new Travis Touchdown game but unfortunately, my feed cut out and when it came back on, I only caught a little bit of it.  What I did see, though, resembled nothing of the No More Heroes games I remember.  I'll still definitely check it out, though.

Some more of Project Octopath Traveler was shown.  Two new classes; an apothecary and a merchant, were introduced.  I'm a bit skeptical of how they'll play gameplay wise.  We finally got a date for it, though.  July 13th!  I played the demo they put out last year and fell in love with it, so this is my most anticipated title for the Switch this year.

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker is joining the port cavalcade to the Switch while also bringing some stages based on Super Mario Odyssey levels.  As much as I loved Captain Toad on the Wii U, I'm not really sure whether or not that's enough to make me buy the game again.  Time and money... It's also headed to the 3DS and will feature touch controls.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot this one.  OKAMI HD!!!  Can you believe that I STILL haven't played this game?  I own the original PS2 game, still sealed, and of course I can't play it even if I wanted to because I can't find my PS2 and my OG PS3 with the Emotion Engine chip went defunk years ago.  The Switch version will make it the perfect time to finally play this game.

There was also a lot of info released surrounding Splatoon 2.  A version 3.0 update will bring in new gear, new multiplayer stuff and a new ranking.  There's also going to be an expansion that will release for it called Octo that brings more single player content and a new character.  But, it's 20 bucks and I'm not sure if it will be worth it at this point.

I know I'm forgetting something... there's just so much they fired off.  But of course, they closed it with a final announcement:

When I first watched the video, I recognized Ink Boy and Ink Girl as Splatoon 1 versions, so I was thinking they were announcing a port of the Wii U Splatoon?  That made no sense, so it tripped me up completely when the lights dimmed and the profiles of Mario and Zelda preluded the flaming SSB logo.  Now, while the entire Internet is going bat shit crazy over this, I'm moderately reserved.  For one, I didn't care much for the Wii U Smash.  I hated that there was no proper story mode, although everyone will tell me mutliplayer is where it's at, but no story meant I got bored with it after I tried all the characters.

So, if this Smash turns out to be just Wii U Smash all over again with new characters, I'll pass.  I'm hoping against all hope, though, that this is Smash 5, completely brand new with ...  A STORY MODE!  They knew the importance of story mode for Mario Tennis, so that's what I'm hoping will happen here.  We'll just have to wait until at least E3 to find out.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Switch!

Wow... an entire year has passed.  I can still remember exactly one year ago waking up early on a Friday to drive down to my local Best Buy to stand in line for the Switch.  I already had it pre-ordered, so I didn't have to worry about any ticket systems that have become the norm for system launches.  I just wanted near the beginning of the line so when the doors opened, I could go in and out relatively quickly. There were only about 10 people in line when I got there and most had theirs already pre-ordered.  I picked up my Switch, my collector's edition of Zelda and Super Bomberman Z and went home feeling elated.  Console launches are already special days, but Nintendo console launches for some reason always feel more special to me...

So to celebrate the Switch turning one year old, what I'm going to do is talk about the games that I have played and mention the ones that I bought that I've still yet to play.  I'll also talk about what Nintendo needs to fix down the road, because as much as I love the Switch, it's far from the perfect system.  As Mario would say, "Here we go!"

Games I've Played

It all started with the one game that I'm sure every Switch owner has.  If any Switch owner doesn't have this game, then they must have bought it for the Wii U, but they wouldn't if they had a Switch.  So, paradox!  Anyway, I failed to secure a pre-order for the Master Edition, which had all the goodies you see here plus the sword, but I was more than happy to settle for the collector's edition.  I just really wanted that awesome Zelda Switch carrying case, which I still use to this day.  The coin, though.. No idea where that's at.  The map is still rolled up, something I never bothered using, and the soundtrack is on my iPod.  Again, I really loved that carrying case, which alone justified me purchasing this edition.

As for the game itself, I simply adored Breath of the Wild.  The last Zelda before this one, Skyward Sword, was such a disappointment for me.  Breath of the Wild felt like Nintendo's heartfelt apology to me.  They righted so many wrongs that Skyward had, one of which was having a massive world underneath a cloud barrier that you could only access three areas of.  BotW let you access its massive world right from the start and the only barriers that halted your progress was the amount of determination you had in exploring areas you know you shouldn't be in.

BotW was also a Zelda that reinvented itself on every fundamental level.  Up until this installment, Zelda games always had their own sense of identity but stuck to a strict formulaic structure of finding dungeons, getting tools and using those tools to continue to progress to the next dungeon.  Breath of the Wild opened all that up letting you progress through the four main dungeons in any order you wanted.  Hell, you could even bypass the dungeons altogether and head straight towards Ganon himself.

It was the completely reworked weapons and gear system that made that possible.  Gone are the days of using your Master Sword as your main weapon, although you can still get it, but it's a long and arduous quest.  Instead, you can pick up many, many different weapons from tree branches to clubs to flame swords and the like.  There's no leveling system in Zelda, so if you found a deadly sword with a majillion damage point rating at the beginning of the game, you could use it and begin unleashing hell.  Crafty Nintendo, though, devised a way from letting players become overpowered by seeking out strong weapons at the onset.  They made them break far too easily.  So it became a game about weapon management.  You had to think of which weapons you wanted to use at certain times, and this feature turned out to be a polarizing one among fans.

I could go on and on about this game, but to prevent it from becoming a review, I'm going to move on.  Before I do, though, I just want to say that my one real complaint was the game not having enough main dungeons.  They opted to pockmark the landscape with 120 shrines - mini dungeons that had either puzzles to solve, enemies to beat, or just simple participation rewards for finding the shrines.  Because there were so many of them, a lot of them were just cut and paste shrines, and I always had a problem with that.  I felt it made the game feel rushed.  It was no substitute for having several more masterfully crafted dungeons that took you at least a couple hours to finish.

I knew going in to this game that it wasn't going to be the end-all be-all of Bomberman games, but I haven't played a Bomberman game since Super Bomberman on the Switch, so I figured it was time.  I had every intention of playing a lot of online Bomberman, but sadly the online was almost completely unplayable and I lost all interest in returning to it when they patched it.  The single player was fun, however having to sit through the god-awful voice acted cutscenes was hard for me to do.  I also wish I had the time to return and check out the DLC for it, because you can play as a bomber in a Pyramid Head costume!  How cool is that?

The one knock that everyone loves to throw at the Switch is that it's the receiver of a lot of old games.  The Birth of Isaac: Afterbirth+ was another example they'd use to say that the Switch had no games.  I didn't mind, because I never did play Birth of Isaac.  This was going to be the first time for me and I was going to do it with the definitive edition.  Birth of Isaac was also the first roguelike that I played and I fell in love with it instantly.  I loved going into a dungeon not knowing what enemies I was going to fight or what power ups I was going to get.  I also loved the really morbid sense of humor the game employed.  Birth of Isaac also was the game that suggested to me that the Switch was going to be the platform of choice for indie games, and it sure enough was.

Oh how I wish I had a physical copy for this.  Far from a fantastic RPG, I am Setsuna still holds a place in my heart thanks to the homage to its old school JRPG roots.  I knew that the Switch would be the go to platform for RPGs because RPG and handheld gaming go together like peanut butter and jelly. Being able to play Setsuna at work on my break was pure joy.  I loved the battle system, very similar to Chrono Trigger.  The story was serviceable, but I loved stumbling across that hidden 16-bit village.  My only real complaints, though, was serious difficulty spikes with a couple of bosses..... and SOOOOO MUCH SNOW.  I loved the graphics, but there was just too much white.  

I don't usually buy games over again, but this was a special case on two fronts.  For starters, my Wii U copy ... I broke it.  I got so frustrated in 150cc that I ejected the disc and snapped it in half... Yeah, I know.  Rage issues.  So anyway, what better way to replace it than with the Switch version that not only has the DLC but also has a proper battle mode!  This was the Mario Kart that the Wii U should have had!  It also had near flawless online and well... playing on the go is a major plus.  Seriously, this is one of the must have games on Switch, even if you already own it for Wii U.  

I love Puyo Puyo (Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine).  I love Tetris.  Put the two together and you have puzzle game bliss!  I actually ended up playing through the entire single player campaign, which was almost as bad as trying to sit through Bomberman's cutscenes, but I enjoyed the challenges.  I got to play with someone at work too, thanks to being able to hand off one of the controllers to him.  Plus, the game came with free key chains that I'm still using.  Great fun!

Remember when I said that the Switch was the de facto platform for RPGs?  That would be the case with this little gem.  Disgaea 5 Complete not only has all the DLC from the PS4 version, but also can be played on the go!  You have no idea how fantastic of a feature it is to be able to lift the Switch out of the dock when it's time to go to work and pick up your progress when it's break time!  As for the game itself, it's not really one of my favorite Disgaeas.  I think my favorite was 3.  The one problem I had with 5 was how they reworked their Item Worlds. It was a lot more work to farm levels compared to previous games, but I still enjoyed it.  Disgaea is simply crack.

This is the only title that I really regret getting.  I saw a video review for it and even though the reviewer named off several negatives that I knew I'd have issues with, I still went for it because it looked so unique.  But its roguelike nature combined with ever-so-careful precision movement caused the game to be far more frustrating than I had the patience for.  Thankfully, the developers listened to feedback and patched in a mode that let you play structured levels without the procedural generation so I finally went back to it and was able to beat it.  

I loved the first Splatoon, but I felt its single player campaign could have been better and I was hoping for a longer one here.  Sad to say, that was not the case, and even the end boss felt lackluster.  Still, Splatoon 2 was a lot of fun while it lasted, but I never did get sucked into the online multiplayer.  I just am not a fan of the way Nintendo structures their matchmaking and how they pick random arenas.  I do have to say kudos for continuing to support Splatoon 2 with free DLC.  They are doing DLC right.

The game that should never have existed but did and everyone was better for it.  The concept of taking Rabbid characters and throwing them in the Mario Kingdom universe while designing the gameplay to emulate X-COM was so unique that it deserved extra money for me, so I sprung for the collector's edition you see here.  The game itself was absolutely fantastic.  So fun, great level design, funny and charming as hell and had a terrific difficulty curve.  I wish I had the time to go back to it to play some of the DLC, but there are just too many games to play.  I say that a lot about games I love that have DLC.... 

I'm a huge fan of Picross and when I saw how this game played, I was reminded of it.  At the time, an actual Picross game was not available on the Switch yet, so I went with this.  Basically, you have to connect numbers by lines and make sure they aren't intersecting each other.  Once you finish a puzzle, a picture reveals itself.  I was really addicted to it when I was playing and wouldn't stop until I finished it, but then they released more content and I had to force myself off it.

Shortly after Piczle Lines came out, Picross S arrived and I instantly snapped it up.  Sadly, this is probably the most bare bones Picross I ever played.  For one, there's no graphics variation when it comes to the grid.  I remember Picross DS having a lot of different grid styles really helping to vary up the visuals.  Two, you can't even use the touchscreen to play it.  You have to use the controller to move around and mark cells.  Very disappointing.  Lastly, the Mega Picross mode uses the same pictures the normal mode used, and that's when I felt very ripped off and stopped playing it.  

While we're still waiting for a proper Animal Crossing on Switch, Stardew Valley stepped up to fill the daily chore needs. I didn't realize I'd have so much fun harvesting 300 turnips until I started playing Stardew.  One of the things I loved about the game was the almost daily discovery of something new whether it was in the town talking to one of the villagers or delving into the many depths of the mines.  Even though it employed a 16-bit aesthetic, it put it to remarkable effect giving the game a strong sense of charm that would cement its staying power with me for more than a month. 

Super Mario Odyssey is to the Mario franchise what Breath of the Wild is to the Zelda franchise: a complete reinvention of itself while executing a near flawless game.  I knew Odyssey would be so special that I took the day off to pick it up at launch.  I loved being able to throw Cappy on enemies and take them over.  I tend to think that Odyssey has some of the best level design of any Mario game.  Overall, I love Odyssey so much that it earned a spot in my top five Mario games which always fluctuates from time to time.  My only complaint was the massive Power Moon collect-a-thon that involved having to outright buy 200 or so Power Moons.  It was just too much.  

If there was any game that would cause me to have a massive delay in my Switch backlog, it's this one.  I never got around to playing it on the PS3 or 360.  When they remastered it for the PS4 and Xbox One, I was going to get it, but never did.  Then, when Nintendo unveiled the Switch for the first time and Skyrim was shown on it, I knew I'd finally play it on Switch.  I spent close to two months in Skyrim doing almost every quest I came across, and I probably still have many left to do when I finally beat it.  Well, if one CAN beat Skyrim.  I just wish Bethesda actually gave a shit and fixed their bugs, many of which still exist since the original version, but man... you just can't beat playing Skyrim at work!  Seriously, I keep telling you, the Switch is the platform of choice for RPGs!  

Yet another release that was deserving of me getting the Collector's Edition.  In fact, hold on.... just hit the Power switch on my Sonic statue to hear it say, "SEEEEGAAAAA!"  Haha, love it.  Took me a long while to finally get to this game, though.  Just too much kept coming out.  When I finally got to it, I understood immediately the hype around this game.  Sonic's had such a muddled history with bad games released using his visage.  It took having to return to the days of the 16-bit era for a great Sonic game to emerge again.  Seeing remixes of favorite stages and mash ups of different styles blend together so well gave me a sense of Sonic euphoria I haven't experienced since Sonic the Hedgehog 2.  Truly a fantastic game and best on Switch!

The last game that I've played thus far on the Switch also happens to be a downright superb game, probably the best indie platformer since Super Meat Boy.  Celeste is about a young girl who needs to climb the titular mountain in order to prove to herself her worth.  The journey up the mountain is fraught with hazards, very reminiscent of Super Meat Boy.  What sets Celeste apart, though, is a slow release of new abilities and mechanics that opens up the gameplay far more than Super Meat Boy could hope to achieve.  Celeste's story is also a somewhat serious one dealing with themes such as depression and reflection.  It has a very old school pixel look to it, but play it for a few minutes, and you'll soon see the style is a thing of beauty.  Celeste is without a doubt one of the best games available for the Switch this year, even though this year just started. 

Now we'll move on to the games currently sitting in my Switch backlog.

Games I've Yet to Play

I really mean to get to this game at some point. I did play the demo and I had fun.  It has a bit of a Super Punch Out vibe to it... which I really hope Nintendo will do something about. *hint hint*  

I'm not big on the Fire Emblem franchise (GAAAAAASP) but I decide to pick this game up because I loved Hyrule Warriors on the Wii U and I heard you don't really need an understanding of Fire Emblem to enjoy FEW.  

Someone told me that this game's a bit like ICO, and my ears immediately perked.  I was advised that it's short in length, but bruh... have you seen my backlog?  Anyway, what's funny is that every time I saw this game advertised on social media, I'd start hassling the developers for a Switch version (wasn't announced yet).  Now that the game's been out for months, I still haven't started it yet... 

I heard a lot of good things about Axiom Verge, that it was a pretty solid Castlevania game and well, we still don't have a Metroid game on the Switch, so I went for it.  I bought the Multiverse Edition because the publisher was good enough to press a physical copy and that deserves my business. 

This was another game that I decided to buy just because there's a physical release.  I really want to encourage developers and publishers to put out their games on physical media because physical is forever, and their artwork should always exist.  Anyway, I don't really know anything about the game other than it's supposed to be really good. 

Both of these games I bought out of principle.  Believe it or not, I haven't played either.  I've been meaning and meaning to get to Doom when it was on the PS4 but never did.  When Bethesda announced that they were bringing it to the Switch, I just had to buy it.  I knew that I'd be sacrificing performance for the weaker console, but Nintendo's always had a problem with third party support for their platforms.  Well, here we have a major third party supporting the Switch and I felt obligated to support them for it.

As for L.A. Noire... yes, the game is old, but this is the first time that I can think of in a long while that Rockstar has released something for a Nintendo platform.  I still have the game on the PS3, but never got around to opening it and I was able to get it nearly dirt cheap because of a reward program so I sprung for it.  I'm looking for it to playing it one day and I heard it's actually a really decent port.

Another game that I've been meaning to get on the PS4 but waited so long, now it's out on the Switch.  It's been sitting on the home screen ever since it came out for the Switch, but alas I just haven't found the time for it.  I really want to play it, though!

Ok,  the only reason I downloaded this was for one, the hub is free.  You get two tables I believe before you have to buy the other tables.  Also, it's the only game I know of that lets you play Switch in a vertical position.  I think that would make playing pinball on Switch a lot of fun!

"OH COME ON, LUCAS!  YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS YET!?"  Yes, I know... one of the biggest Switch releases and I still haven't played it yet... Sue me.  The thing is, this came out while I was still playing Skyrim.  I try to only play one game at a time, let alone one RPG at a time.  And well, when Skyrim was done, I just wasn't really in the mood to play another massive RPG.  It'll get played eventually. Don't know when though.  But hey, at least I sprung for the special edition!

This is one of the two ACAs that I have on the Switch.  Kid Niki has special meaning to me because it was an arcade game that I always found myself playing in amusement parks when I was a kid.  Actually, this game falls outside of the "I've Yet to Play" category, because I have actually played it on the arcade, and played a few levels on the Switch.  I just haven't returned to it yet to finish it.  It aged poorly, though, so I recommend it to no one. 

The other of the two ACA games.  I remember playing King of Monsters all the time in the arcades.  It was my favorite Neo Geo game.  I just need to find time to play it again on my Switch. 

Finally got around to downloading this game when they put it out on sale.  Don't really know much other than that it's supposed to be a phenomenal little indie title.  

So, if you've been counting, then you'd see that's 30 titles I purchased on my Switch.  30 titles in one year.  That's more than two games every month, for the FIRST year of a new console!  I don't think I've done that with any other console that I've owned.  I ended up with over 100 games on my PS2, but that took a while after its first year to accumulate.  So, in order for me to buy 30 games in the first year, that means the Switch is truly impressive.  I just want to keep playing the thing!  But will Nintendo keep that momentum coming, though?  That's the tricky part.

For now, though, the only major problem Switch has is the lack of Virtual Console.  I have no idea why they're being so stubborn with their legacy games.  All they have to do it is put their catalog on there and BOOM!  More money!  Every great Nintendo game of old with you to play at home or on the go! 

What worries me, though, is that they're saving some of their best legacy titles as select bonuses for people to entice them into buying subscriptions to Nintendo's online service, and that pisses me off.  Even though it's only 20 dollars a year, Nintendo has the gall to try to charge for online service of any sort.  They don't know how to matchmake.  They don't know how to friends list.  They don't know how to voice chat.  Their "service" is horrible.  The only thing that's worth mentioning is their fantastic net coding which allows online games to play without a hitch.  If they truly want to offer a service, they should learn how Sony and MS does theirs and do it better. 

For 2018, I want to see three things: continued releases of amazing software from both first and third party; the Virtual Console; a subscription service worth paying for.  Oh, one last thing. 

Come on, don't give me that, "But I have it on five other devices!" That's exactly why it should be on Switch as well!  Supposedly, the hang up is Netflix's fault, but still... Nintendo needs to kick them in the ass and get Netflix on the Switch!  

Anyway, Happy First Anniversary Nintendo Switch!

Live Services MUST Die!

To sum up Jim's video, AAA publishers are the worst.

But seriously.  There's a term that's going around in the AAA games industry called Live Services.  Basically, it's the video game equivalent of keeping cancer-ridden grandma alive in her deathbed while you keep paying the insurance and medical companies more money.  What Jim's video is highlighting is that companies like Ubisoft are restructuring their business plans to make less games while making more money on fewer games via daily content, DLC and microstransactions.  Live Services makes this happen.

Speaking of Ubisoft, one game of theirs I just so happen to be playing is Assassin's Creed: Origins, and I can see this happening already.  Daily quests and weekly events are introduced to keep players who've already beaten the game coming back for more.  This opens up spending opportunities to buy Helix credits and season passes and whatnot.  Of course, this is nothing new, keeping a game alive by continuing to support it with new content, but does a game like Assassin's Creed: Origins really need to be supported into the next decade?  Assassin's Creed games, with the exception of Origins, are yearly events.  If we're getting an Assassin's Creed game next year, or the year after that, who will still want to play Origins?  Unless... Ubisoft thinks that enough people will.  Therefore, the drive to make the next Assassin's Creed is reduced. 

Now, I dislike the idea of Live Services for a few reasons.  My first and foremost reason is that I feel all games need to end.  I very rarely buy DLC for games because after I beat them, I move on to the next game; I'm always playing something new.  It has to be an exceptional game for me to not only want to return to it, but to also spend money on an expansion pack while I'm at it. 

Another reason is because constant injections of new content while the game is still fresh is distracting from the main game.  To use Assassin's Creed: Origins as an example, I just now started playing the game, but there are quest events that are outside of my level meaning they're going to disappear before I'm strong enough to get to play them.  I really hate seeing them on my screen, and I hate to think of people who've spent money in an attempt to speed up their levels in order to access these daily and weekly quests.

That brings me to my last reason: it's exploitative as fuck.  Now I'm sure most people don't bother dropping money on microtransactions and other nickle and diming forms of DLC, but there are enough people out there that do to keep this business practice going.  There are the whales who have more money than sense, and then there are the addictive gamers who have serious problems and shouldn't be spending that money to begin with.  The fact that you need to keep asking the gamer to pour more money into a game they already played to dripfeed content to them that they should just be earning playing the game is unethical in my opinion.  It's just not defensible.  It's lead up to debacles such as Star Wars: Battlefront II that has put video games back in the sights of lawmakers.  It continues to get worse and worse with companies like Konami charging 10 dollars for extra save slots in Metal Gear Survive, a game which has a single player campaign, but REQUIRES you to always be online.  Now we know why you have to always be online.  Konami needs to know you need a new save slot so they can charge you for it!

This generation of gaming is the most disgusting, most disappointing, most disheartening generation I've had the displeasure of experiencing.  Yet, you get the new gamers who can't seem to wrap their minds around the concept of anti-consumerism and try to defend these companies by saying that video games are so expensive to make.  They need the extra income.  Yes, games are expensive to make, but no, they don't need the extra income.  They WANT the extra income.  They are greedy.  If not greedy, then they are horrible at budgeting.  Why do we as consumers have to be nickle and dimed to help recoup the hundred million dollars that they spent marketing a game of a franchise that everyone knows will release a new installment every year?

Live Services is just a horrible idea to me.  I know this is just my opinion, but gamers don't need to keep playing the same game for years.  There's SO much else out there to play.  Tastes need to be broadened so that we can see a more diverse selection of games.  If every AAA publisher begins to embrace Lives Services, then we're going to see fewer risks being taken.  That means fewer IPs and fewer games.  Do we honestly want to see a community of gamers who play nothing but Overwatch, Destiny 2 and Battlefront 2?  Is that how we want to be seen as? Playing the same thing over and over again?  Let's stop chasing the carrot, shall we?  It's time to kill Live Services!  It's time to just let grandma die!

Chasing the Strawberry: The Forbidden Fruit of the Masochistic Platformer

Platformers.  So simple in their design.  Run, jump, maybe die?  Die.  Try again until you don't die.  These are the simple tenets of the platformer.  Yet, platformers can also be some of the most wickedly designed games out there.  You might be lulled into a false sense of security as you breeze through the first few levels but then suddenly, the level design maliciously changes on you introducing jumps you can't make the first try and hazards you never knew existed. You're starting to become familiar with that one worded question: Continue?  You can't turn down a challenge, can you?

Some platformers take challenging gameplay to a whole other level.  Games like N+ and Super Meat Boy are so crushingly difficult that there's got to be some kind of subgenre to describe them.  Whatever that may be, I'm just going to call them masochistic platformers.  These are the games that don't just challenge your skill level, they challenge your patience and mental stability.  Normal gamers give up on a game after about ten to 15 deaths in a row (ok, I pulled that statistic out of my ass), but gamers who continue to truck on after countless death are a special breed.  They're the ones who enjoy the frustration.  They enjoy the pain.  They won't stop until they beat that level that no one else in the world but them cares about beating.  Once they do, they get a special kind of elation from overcoming the challenge.  These gamers are masochists, and I'm one of them. So hence, "masochistic platformer".

Don't do it Madeline!  It's a trap!

I'm currently playing through Celeste right now.  Celeste is exactly the kind of game I'm describing when I say masochistic platformer.  It has that same "jump precisely or die" gameplay that everyone loved in Super Meat Boy, but it adds a few other gameplay elements to it, such as an eight-way directional boost and the ability to climb.  You'd think that would make the game easier than Super Meat Boy, right?

Well, I suppose if you just ignore the strawberries, then yeah, maybe it's not so bad.  But on to the topic of the blog: chasing the strawberry.  In Celeste, there are floating strawberries that are placed in precarious places that only serve one purpose: they want you to die collecting them. How it works in Celeste is that once you managed to get the strawberry, you have to return to terra firma where it's safe before it counts as you collecting.  This means you can't just run and jump to it and then die with it collected.  Nope, you have to do a full circle.  Also, some of the strawberries have wings and when you boost anywhere on the screen, they take off.  This makes the path to them even more hazardous because you can't use the boost if you hope to reach them.

See that strawberry up there?  That's just one of the easier ones.

The game expects you to die.  A lot.  So much so that it keeps track of your deaths at the end of every chapter.  In fact, during one loading screen, it even tells you to take pride in your high death count because that means you're learning.  But ... are you REALLY learning?  Anyway, when I reach the end of chapter three, I expect my death count to be in the hundreds.  It's all due to these damned strawberries!  There's really no point to them.  They don't bequeath XP; they don't give you special powers; they do absolutely nothing except give you a thousand points at the cost of a thousand deaths.  This isn't really a game I see people playing for points anyway, though.  Also, the game actually tells you in a loading screen that the strawberries do nothing but "impress your friends."

I probably could have been a lot farther along in Celeste has it not been for wasting so much time trying to collect every strawberry I saw, but they're just too tempting for some reason.  They seriously are forbidden fruit.  I'm not supposed to partake, but I will risk many lives in order to do so.  And these kinds of collectibles exist in many platformers.  They entice you above the edge of cliffs.  They beckon you between two massive saw blades.  They lure you in like sirens eagerly awaiting your battered remains to be sploshed among the jagged rocks of the cove.  And we masochistic gamers come back for more, again and again and again, because there is no sweeter fruit than the forbidden variety.

Eight Reasons to Buy a Switch (Because Mario and Zelda Aren't Enough)

"I'm not buying a Switch for just Zelda and Mario."

Sound familiar?  If you're a proud Switch owner and you've discussed the Switch with someone who doesn't have one, you've most likely heard this before.  Yes, at face value, it seems like all the Switch does have to offer is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey.  Just those two games alone, never mind them being two of the highest rated games of all time, would be a hard sell to anyone looking to buy a Switch.  Well, it's a pretty good thing that those games aren't the only two reasons to own a Switch.  So, I'm here to give you eight more.

#1

I'm willing to bet you that if The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey haven't yet sold you on a Switch, there's a good chance you never owned a Wii U.  With only about 10 million Wii Us ever sold, those chances are pretty good.  Mario Kart 8 is one of the best Mario Kart games that I've played in the series, and the Deluxe edition only improves it.  For starters, it comes packed with the DLC of the Wii U version and has a proper battle mode this time.  Mario Kart has always been a terrific party game as well, with fantastic online play.  Taking it on the go with you only makes the game that much better.  The only thing I cannot defend is the abhorrent voice chat system.  I'm just... going to move on.  

#2

Splatoon looks very "kiddie" on the surface, but don't let the aesthetics fool you.  Splatoon 2, just like its predecessor, is a very addicting shooter.  The story campaign, albeit a bit short, has a lot of fun platforming segments and boss battles, but it's the online play that keeps you coming back.  Unfortunately, I'm not much of a fan of how the online matches are structured and again, it's a pain to voice chat with anyone, but that doesn't take away from the chaotic fun of running and swimming around the battlefield trying to overtake the enemy's ink.  Plus, the game's constantly being supported with free DLC.  

#3

The chronic problem that always seems to follow Nintendo around whenever they release a new system is not enough third-party support.  Well, Ubisoft has not only come through with a third-party title for Nintendo but also did it as an exclusive title using the license of Nintendo's iconic Mario.  Ubisoft has also brought their crazy mascots, the Rabbids, for a joint effort in a game that no one ever thought would exist.  What's really most surprising about this title is not just the crazy concept of the game, but just how insanely GOOD it is.  It has the charm of Mario and Co., the humor of Rabbids games, and the gameplay of X-COM.  These three elements mesh together so unbelievably well that you'd be hard pressed to find a better Switch exclusive that Nintendo didn't hand-make themselves.  

#4

Now, I can hear you laughing at me all the way over here for this reason.  I really don't blame you, but I'm not listing this reason for you.  It's for your kid(s).  Nintendo knows full well that this isn't for the core gamer, but I'm not really going to get into that.  For more of my thoughts on Labo, click here.   So, Nintendo Labo is for your children to help spark their interest in STEAM activities.  Honestly, if you bought a Switch for your kids, there's a good enough chance they probably don't even need Labo to have fun with the Switch itself, but this is an amazing way to let them interact with the Switch on a completely different level.  If you help your kids put together, I'm sure you'll even find some fun with it yourself.  

#5 

So I know this is way off in the distance, but I highly doubt the Switch will have a price drop when the game finally comes out, not with the success it's been enjoying currently.  Now, when Metroid Prime 4 does release, it's most likely going to be the Breath of the Wild and Odyssey of the Metroid Prime franchise.  If you're any kind of fan of Nintendo, then you're a Metroid fan and I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't be excited to play a new Metroid, let alone a Metroid Prime game, on the Switch. Also, don't forget, it's portable so you don't have to worry about finding a save point if you have to leave for work.  Just take it with you!

#6

You want another hard hitting exclusive? Bayonetta 3!  I'm sure you love action games, and Platinum makes some of the best around.  One of my favorites is Bayonetta.  I never got around to playing the second, but I already know how excellent that game was from the reviews and secondhand from people who've played it.  I have no reason to doubt that the third title will not disappoint.  "But I'm not going to buy a Switch for just one game!"  So sick of hearing that... This is just like those saying they won't buy it for just two games... You'll have plenty of games to choose from when the game you really want comes out, and again, I doubt the price will drop by then so you might as well just buy a Switch now and start enjoying it.  

#7: Wii U Ports

 

 

This goes back to what I was saying with Mario Kart 8.  There's a good chance you never purchased a Wii U, so with Wii U games now coming to the Switch, you have more reasons to get a Switch.  I also included Lego City Undercover because it was at one point a Wii U exclusive but even though it was ported to other systems, they don't have the same tablet features the Wii U had, which I'm sure you'll be able to use in the Switch version.  That makes the Switch version of Lego City Undercover the definitive version to own. "But, why are they charging 60 dollars for old games?!"  Depends on the value.  People seem to think there's still value in these games, hence the prices.  Click here to read my thoughts about that. 

#8: It's the Definitive Platform for RPGs

Granted, there's going to be a few major RPGs that might never see the light of day on the Switch, but the Switch already has several great ones to choose from.  There's RPG Factory's I am Setsuna and Lost Sphear. There's NIS America's Disgaea 5 Complete.  There's Monolith's Xenoblade Chronicles 2.  There's also Square Enix's upcoming Project Octopath which I've played a demo of, and it is FANTASTIC.  Now, what makes the Switch the definitive platform for RPGs is the simple fact that it's portable.  If you've played RPGs at all, you know how frustrating it is to be waist deep in a dungeon only to have something come up, whether it's going to work or school or an emergency.  The beauty of the Switch... if I have to spell out it out again.. is that it's portable.  Sleep it, take it with you, resume when you've got a break.  I mean, come on!  Who wouldn't love to get a couple hours of dungeon grinding in while you're flying to the grandparents'?  

#9: It's the Definitive Platform for Indies

Ok, so I lied.  I have one more reason for you, and it's just too good not to list.  Ever since the Switch launched, it's being receiving a torrential downpour of support by indie game developers.  You have to take the good with the bad, though, because just like every platform that indie games release on, there's a lot of stinkers but a lot of certified gems as well.  This is certainly the case with the Switch.  I'm currently playing Celeste, and it's simply incredible. It brings all the fun and challenge of Super Meat Boy and mixes it with a thoughtful story and unique charm.  If that wasn't enough, I've been hearing nothing but excellent things about A Night in the Woods.  I'd love to get it right now, but there's just too much on my plate!  And again, just like what I said about the RPGs, the Switch is the definitive platform for indies because of its portability.  I don't have to wait until I get home to play Celeste.  I can simply play it on breaks at work.  I cannot emphasize enough how that convenient feature alone makes it worth the 300 dollars.  

You know what?  I just realized that I could continue to list reasons.  No, seriously, I could go on and on, but I already said I was going to list eight and went one over, so I'll just wrap it up with one other mention.  As of the time of this writing, there are 431 listings on Nintendo's eShop.  The system hasn't even been out for a full year yet, and it's closing on 500 games.  Even if you only have 1 percent interest in the Switch's library, that's about five games that you'll want to buy a switch for.  That's three games more than just the two you say isn't reason enough for, and that's on a VERY low estimate of what you'll be interested in playing on the Switch.  

It certainly does seem like Zelda and Mario are the only reasons to buy a Switch, but that's because those games are of such high quality, the radiance they emit from their respective pedestals makes it hard to notice other games.  Trust me, they're out there.  And there's more coming.  There's always things down in the pipeline and if you aren't interested in the Switch at this point especially if you never had a Wii U, then what exactly do you want from Nintendo?  Do you want Battlefront 2 or Destiny 2 on the Switch?  Why?  You most likely have it on the PS4 or Xbox One.  If you're waiting for those games to come on a Nintendo system, then clearly you're not a Nintendo fan because you'd have a Switch by now playing those Nintendo games.   If that's the case, then I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to change your mind, so I'm sorry for your wasting your time in reading this.  

Mario Kart is Coming to Mobile, and I Don't Care

https://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-mario-kart-game-announced-for-mobile/1100-6456486/

As big of a Nintendo fan that I am and as huge of a fan as I am of Mario Kart, you'd think I'd be excited about this, but I'm not.  Maybe if they made this announcement before I started to grow deathly tired of Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp, I'd have had some excitement for it.  The truth is, Nintendo's past mobile efforts are... just not great. 

It all started in 2016 with a mobile "game" called Miitomo.  Miitomo was more of a random question answering app than it was a game, but it had its unique charm letting you create Miis and doll them up.  There were cute little pachinko-esque games you play that earned you costume pieces.  I had fun with it provided I played with friends who were active and even though they added new features such as sidekicks and fashion shows, it never really evolved.  I ultimately grew bored of it and it ended up just being an app I was occasionally reminded of that was still on my phone thanks to push notifications. 

Well, Miitomo is ending.  It hasn't even been a full two years yet, and they're killing it.  Honestly, I wish they'd kill the rest of their games and just get out of the mobile industry altogether. This might be weird to say considering the rampant success of Pokemon Go, which I do admit deserves to continue to exist because of how well it's being supported but it's the other games, Fire Emblem, Super Mario Run and most recently Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp that I wish a quick and painless death.  Why?  Because they're not very reflective of what Nintendo games actually are.  They're nothing different than any run of the mill mobile freemium game, and it's an insult to Nintendo's quality. 

Now, I will admit, Fire Emblem Heroes is actually the most deep of the bunch, but I have a major grievance with it.  It's a gacha game, and I actually got suckered to drop a few bucks on it because I wanted some characters everyone else was getting.  This really sullies the integrity of the franchise turning it into whale bait (for those who don't know, whales are people with more money than sense who drop tons of dough on loot box microtransactions).  I also take serious exception with the fact that there was all this loot box controversy over Star Wars Battlefront II and not one single knock against Fire Emblem Heroes or any other gacha type game.  They're just as bad. 

Super Mario Run honestly didn't hold my attention enough for me to keep playing.  I tried the free trial when it first released, and I didn't find it compelling enough to pay the at the time 10 dollar asking price.  When it went on sale for five, I bought it, played a level and completely forgot about it again.  I guess I don't like the design of the gameplay.  Push stages were never my favorite in Mario games and so when you have a game where Mario runs automatically and you can't turn him around, that makes it even less fun for me.  Plus, the game's just too bite sized.  I don't want to play Mario games a few minutes at a time.  I want to sit there and play for at least a couple of hours. 

Then we have Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp.  I played this game far longer than I should have only because I'm a four time addict when it comes to Animal Crossing games.  Every sensible fiber in my being told me to stop playing this incessantly monotonous game and do something else, but every three hours I found myself playing again to fulfill these stupid god damned camper requests.  You want a seashell?!  THERE'S FIVE MOTHER FUCKING SEASHELLS AROUND YOU, FUCKER!  FUCKING PICK ONE UP!  AND WHY DOES EVERY ANIMAL SAY THE SAME FUCKING THINGS?!  WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF IDENTITY?! ... Sorry, turning into a real rant here. 

So next year, we'll get to experience another flagship franchise of Nintendo's being reduced to nothing more than a freemium... OH EXCUSE ME... FREE TO START .. mobile game with either wait-to-play or gacha mechanics in it that will be fun for a few weeks and then obnoxiously mundane after that.  "But they just announced it!  Shouldn't you wait for more info?"  That's a valid point, but look at what they've put out so far.  I have no reason at all to believe that Mario Kart Tour will be any different from their past ventures.  I cannot see this being a mobile Mario Kart 8.  Of course, Nintendo could surprise me and if Tour turns out to be a full fledged Mario Kart, then I'd be REALLY surprised.  But it won't be.  It'll either be wait-to-play or a gacha game. 

I get it, though.  These mobile games aren't meant to be fleshed out Nintendo games.  They're meant to be promotional apps to get people interested in Nintendo products.  I just find it weird, though, that it takes a mobile app to get people interested in Nintendo games.  I mean, everyone knows Nintendo, so no interest until they put out an app? I just honestly see it in reverse; people are playing these Nintendo mobile games because they're already fans of the franchise. 

But if you want to sell me on mobile games, Nintendo, you need to sell me actual games.  That's why I paid five dollars for Super Mario Run, but I'd have paid a lot more for it if it was an actual Mario game.  Same with Fire Emblem (well, I kinda did when I bought those fucking orbs) and Animal Crossing.  As it stands, though, I just feel these mobile games are far beneath what Nintendo is actually capable of and what they should be providing us.  Yes, they're promos to get people interested, but you know what really gets people interested in your games?  ACTUAL. GAMES.

With Mario Kart Tour, I really sincerely hope that I'm wrong.  Please prove me wrong, Nintendo.  Please.

Walking Among the 16 Shadows: A Return to the Forbidden Land

On February 6th, this will arrive on my doorstep.

I don't usually spring for special editions, but when a game is as important to me as Shadow of the Colossus, I make an exception.  Coincidentally, I also sprung for the collector's edition of The Last Guardian because well... it had a statue.  Surprisingly, the special edition of SotC does not have a single statute.  16 colossi in the game, and not a single statue.  Ah well...

So, in preparation of February 6th, I've returned to this:

I'm actually a little bit sad that they're not giving ICO the same remake treatment as Shadow of the Colossus, because I feel it's just about as important an example of games as art as SotC is.  Since they aren't doing it with ICO, I just skipped it and went straight to SotC. Part of me wanted to play the PS2 version again, so I could really appreciate just how much more Bluepoint (the studio responsible for the remake) has improved the game, but that would require pulling out my old PS2, which I can't find.  Plus, it would look far worse on my HDTV, and the remaster of SotC wasn't really that incredible in my opinion.  It would still look dated enough for me to appreciate the changes in the remake.

What I'll be doing in this blog is talking about experiences with the sixteen colossi as I remember them from the first time as well as revisiting them.  When I started last night, before I even began the game, I already had goosebumps crawling up my skin just listening to the music.  The opening cutscene, as dated as the visuals are, still inspire such a sense of wonder in me.  This is going to be one of the first things I'll appreciate with the remake.  I did see a video of it online, but those small little videos don't really amount to much in comparison to seeing it on your own TV.  I remember feeling the sadness of Wander, the hero, as he placed his departed upon the altar.  And then the Dormin spoke.  I still get a chill whenever I hear that voice.  My quest to slay the sixteen colossi, of which I have repeated several times, begins again. 

#1: Valus

When I first played the game, Valus was the doorman that welcomed you to the Forbidden Land.  He was the measurement of scale that proved to you just how insignificant you were.  Even wielding a club, he wasn't as aggressive as you'd expect, further cementing your status as nothing more than a mere annoyance.  Valus was imposing, and he wasn't even one of the bigger ones.  

The first time I fought Valus, I remember having to learn the intricacies of the game's ... unique control scheme.  I had to adapt to the controls quickly, and then I had to figure how to take him down.  First, I had to figure out how to even get on top of him.  I noticed hair on his body, and I knew this is what I would use to climb him, but I still didn't know how to reach it. So I observed him.  I ran around him until I saw a bit on his calf that I could jump on, and that's when I noticed something glowing under the fur.  Clinging to the hair around the emitting light, I raised my sword and plunged it where I was met with a gut-wrenching scream and the beast fell on one knee.  

That's when I saw a ledge on his armor that I could grab onto and then as the mammoth rose, so did I climbing him further to get to his head.  I stabbed him and he responded with violently shaking his head trying to fling me off like the flea I was.  Not quite used to the stamina mechanic, I fell off him.  A lot.  But with every towering beast you fall off of, you get up and get on it again.  After I stabbed his head enough times, I noticed the glowing rune was no longer there.  I couldn't deliver any more damage to him, so I had to find another weak spot, and I found it on his back. I continued to grab his fur stabbing him whenever I could between his jarring convulsions.  After I delivered the final blow, he crumbled like an ancient tower suffering one too many eroded bricks.  

Instead of victory over Valus like I'd expect to feel for toppling something that massive, I instead felt a sense of sorrow wash over me.  This was a giant, as menacing as it was, but I had the feeling that it was a peaceful giant that only clubbed with his massive cudgel when provoked.  I indeed provoked him.  I stepped foot into a land that I was not privileged to enter and accepted a murderous quest to restore the soul of my beloved to her body that had no right returning, and I slayed him.  Indeed, I felt sad.  Victorious, but altogether sad.  That's when I saw tendrils of shadow splay out towards me and impale me like serpents causing the light to fade from me.  I awoke at the temple again, witnessing the first of the 16 statues explode into rubble.  The Dormin spoke to me again, giving me a hint of the next foe that I would face.

#2 Quadratus

I remember the first time I faced this quadrupedal behemoth.  I was stumped for a good while trying to figure out how to get the monster to let me get on him.  He had to rear up on his hind legs where his weak points underneath his hooves were exposed.  You shoot one of them and then he falls over allowing you to get a foothold and begin climbing him.  Then it's just a matter climbing him and stabbing him in his weak points.  

When I faced him this time, it seemed to be a bit different for some reason.  I couldn't get him to rear up, so instead I had to watch his hooves as he walked and then real quickly shoot the underside of his hoof as it was just a couple feet above ground.  When I was trying to stab his head, he was also bucking very hard, harder than I remember.  In fact, that seems to be a prevalent theme during my revisit.  

#3 Gaius

Easily the tallest colossus outside of the last battle, Gaius awaited you on a tilted platform above a lake.  The ground was mostly soft except for a hard circle in the center of the platform.  This colossus was another tricky one that took me a good while to figure out.  I ran all around him trying to look for places to climb him, but no such luck.  One tip that I found out with these colossi is that when you tend to get stuck, it's best to just stand back and observe them and see what they do.  That's when I saw Gaius lift his massive stone club in the air and bring it down right on top of my head. 

After I got up, I tried dodging this time.  His club pounded into the dirt kicking up chunks from the ground from the impact.  I knew this would be the key to boarding him but by the time I got to his club, he pulled it away.  I had to be quicker.  I moved at the very last second, then double backed the moment the club came down and ran up the weapon only to be blocked at his arm.  There was no way around.  Then, I remembered the hard circle in the center.  I jumped off, baited him there and when he struck it, the vibration shattered some of his armor, revealing fur that I could climb. 

Once I got on, I climbed and stabbed his stomach, then climbed up and stabbed his head.  This was another colossi that violently shook more than I remembered.  The first time I slayed him, I remember being in awe while at the same time being grief stricken that I took down such a magnificent towering being.  The way he just folded like a card table made it that much more pitiful. 

#4 Phaedra

For some reason, I had the hardest damn time finding this particular one when I first played.  I think I must have took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.  I just remember getting turned out in a secluded forest over and over again until finally, I just stumbled along the correct path and found the open area with four entrances to an underground tunnel.  When I revisited this one, thankfully I did not have that problem.  Found him right away.  

I also remember this one stumping me pretty hard my first time.  After running around him trying to find a place to leap onto, I found a dangling piece of armor on his tail, but no matter how many times I tried to leap from one of the hilly tunnel entrances, I just couldn't reach it.  I ran around the tunnels to see if there was anything that would help me and when I emerged from one, that's when I saw Phaedra doubled over the entrance I had just used.  That piece of tail armor was just within my reach!  I ran for it, leapt, climbed, stabbed, slayed, wept.  Another one down, and also another that shook me a lot more than I remembered.

#5 Avion

This majestic winged creature is probably my second favorite colossus in the game.  I just remember being so impressed with the way he was animated.  His wingspan invoked - more like commanded - a sense of awe.  After its cinematic introduction, he took his perch on an unclimbable pillar and waited stoically waited for you.  This one stumped me as well, but I did enjoy trying to figure how to get on him.  I swam around looking for a way to climb that pillar, because his tail was dangling down just begging for me to grab it, but no such luck. 

That's when I noticed the three platforms in the middle of the water. I swam to one of them and then gazed at Avion wondering what I should do.  I remembered my bow and arrow, nocked an arrow and let it fly where it struck him in the breast.  This got his attention.  He unfolded his massive wings and descended from his perch swooping towards me when I noticed it: the fur on his wing.  I jumped up and grabbed just as his dive bomb meant to clear me from the platform. 

This colossus was different from the previous four in that he's a flying creature.  This meant that the riding experience was on a a completely different level.  You always had that sense of dread when falling off a colossus, especially from Gaius but with Avion, there's the element of speed added; the rushing of the wind; the fear of falling into the lake.  For the most part, even though Avion's wings were always flapping, you could run along him to find and attack his weak points.  It was only when he was banking that you had to hold on for dear life.  During his turns, he listed a full 180 degrees.  It was quite a rush holding on to him during those moments.  After I slayed him, I want to say that I felt the most sorrow out of all 16 colossus just because he was so amazing.

#6 Barba

Barba's another bipedal colossus, this one being hidden underground in a ruin.  You had to descend a wall and at the bottom of that wall, it sank into the ground revealing Barba.  Thanks in part to Gaius, no bipedal colossus from this point onward (except the final colossus, but he doesn't walk) ever really seems as imposing as they should.  Still, he's not someone that you'd want to stand underneath and let walk on you.

The game did a steady job of keeping me stumped my first play through.  There was literally no way to climb him from the bottom.  The puzzle was the environment itself.  There were several walls leading to the back of the cave that had an alcove carved into it.  I had to lead Barba to these walls so that he'd kick a giant hole in them allowing me to progress.  Once I reached the alcove, I tried to figure out what to do and as I said before, if you get stumped, just observe them and watch what they do.  Barba crouched down to find me, his bushy beard now brushing the ground, and that's when I made my move.  I sprang out from hiding, grabbed the beard, climbed him, stabbed and slayed him.  He was yet another one that shook a lot more than I remembered.  

#7 Hydrus

Another stumper.  This electric eel took residence in one of the many lakes of the Forbidden Land and circled underneath you like an inverted aquatic vulture.  He had three prongs along his body that emitted electricity, but they posed little threat to you while he was completely submerged.  I had no idea how to even begin to climb this one.  Again... when stumped, do nothing and the solution presents itself.  

If you just tread water, you'd see him get into position to attack.  He swims so slowly, however, so the song and dance was a bit difficult to choreograph.  The trick was to position yourself at just the right spot while Hydrus started to surface so that you weren't shocked by the prong as he rose and didn't miss his body to grabbing his body as a portion of it emerged.  It took me several attempts when I first tried him, but it was second nature when I revisited him.

Once you got a hold of him, it was pretty much easy going at this point.  You had to run along his body when he surfaced, and then hold on for deal life when he submerged.  The prongs weren't dangerous if you didn't get too close to them, but they barred your progress along his body to the weak point atop his head.  Before each prong was a weak point that you had to strike to disable the electricity in order to pass.  Once you got to the head, he was good as dead.  Then, it was just waiting for those shadowy tentacles to grab you and return you to the shrine.

#8 Kuromori

I would have to say Kuromori was the first colossus that I actually hated.  Seriously, the first time fighting him was a trial in frustration.  The battle took place in a ruined coliseum with several walls crumbled exposing the arena to the center.  Kuromori waited at the bottom with no visible weak point.  I kind of expected it wasn't going to be as simple as go down and climb him.  

The first thing I had to do was get his attention.  I shot him with an arrow and watched to see what happened.  Then I realized the unique feature of this colossus.  He can climb.  He scaled the walls to greet me and did something that proved to make this fight one of the most annoying in the game.  He spat at me.  Not just any spit, but a spit that bloomed into an orange mist that carried a deadly static charge that sapped your health very quickly if you didn't get out of it.   For the first time in the game, I died repeatedly trying to figure this one out.

I started to approach the battle from a different angle, literally.  I shot him to get his attention, and then I ran around the arena's floors to the other side where I got a vantage point from one of the crumpled walls.  That's when I noticed his legs were glowing and if you played video games for any period of time, you know that glowing appendages are usually weak points.  I shot a couple of them all the while avoiding that ghastly mist and then witnessed Kuromori fall from the walls and land on his back like an overturned turtle.  That's when I saw the weak point on his belly.  I had to act quick because I saw him struggling to right himself.  I struck at the weak point but only got about half his health down before he got back up and the dance continued.  The second time finished him off, and I remember being completely exhausted.  It wasn't so bad at all when I revisited him because thankfully, I knew exactly what to do. 

#9 Basaran

Just when I thought there couldn't be anything more annoying than Kuromori, I met Basaran, a gigantic tortoise that spits electric missiles at you.  This was also the first battle that you had to have your horse Argo to help you with.  Basaran fires those charged projectiles at you pretty quickly and they're hard to avoid when on foot, but Argo makes it a little easier.  You can still get caught by them and knocked off him if you aren't careful, though.

What makes this fight so infuriating is due to Basaran's A.I.  The only way to climb him is to first get him to lose his balance by positioning him above one of the many geysers populating the battlefield.  This means you need to get him to follow you while avoiding his shots, and trying to line him up perfectly on a geyser is an exercise in patience.  I cannot remember how long it took me to finally get him up on a geyser my first time, but I did experience some troubles trying to do it again during the revisit.  Once you got him on two legs from the geyser, you shot the tends on his supporting feet and he tumbled over on his back.  Climb. Stab. Slay. Fuck. Off. 

#10 Dirge

I've always been of the opinion that if you want to highlight a game's mechanical faults, present the player with a boss fight.  Dirge is that fight.  Dirge is the colossus that shatters the immersion of the this fantastic game and reminds that you it is indeed a game.  Dirge is a sandworm living in a cave and Argo plays a very important role in this battle.  Dirge will easily kill you if you're on foot, so you need to be riding Argo at all times.  What makes this battle irritating is that it shows off just how obnoxious the camera is.

You need to get Dirge to chase you meaning that you're going to have to watch him from the back of your horse.  Because you can't steer the horse while also keeping the camera on Dirge,  you have to place your faith in Argo's A.I. that he keeps running parallel to the cave's walls and doesn't run headfirst into a rock or something.  So with your eyes on Dirge, you're looking for his eyes.  Once you see them exposed from the sand, you only have a few seconds to shoot them before Dirge speeds up and makes a ramming attack that will most likely connect sending both you and Argo to the ground.  Aiming the bow has never been very smooth in my opinion and trying to control both Argo and the camera makes these very short seconds quite nerve wracking.  

If you're successful in shooting both eyes, Dirge goes blind and tries to find you based on vibrations (think Tremors).  You stay next to the wall and wait for him to charge, and then move out of the way where he rams the wall and stuns himself.  His writhing body then becomes fully emerged from the sand allowing you to climby climby stabby stabby.  After you take out the first weak point, he shakes you off, submerges into the sand and the cat and mouse begins again.  After going through the process again, I didn't feel any sorrow for destroying this beast because just as with the previous two colossi, I felt a sense of relief for just getting it done.  During the revisit, even knowing what I had to do, it still was a lot more annoying than it should have been.

#11 Celosia

Found in a ruins carved in a rock wall, Celosia is the smallest of the 16 colossi, but his temperament is perhaps the greatest.  This armored bull is tenacious and if you let him catch you with a gore, there's a good chance he won't be letting you get back up.  For some reason, I had an excruciating time during my revisit because of this.  I really don't remember it being this bad when I first played.  All I remember about my first experience was trying to figure out what to do, and when I did, that was it.

The fight starts out on a platform with four pillars that have lit braziers on them. Celosia jumps onto the platform and then begins to charge at you.  He moves so quick and actually tracks your dodging as he gores you with his horns.  It took me a good long time to figure out what to do here, but once you did, it was pretty easy.  The trick was climbing atop one of the pillars baiting Celosia to charge at you.  He'd ram that pillar and the force would jettison one of the torches out of the brazier onto the ground.  You then had to quickly jump back down, grab the now extinguished torch, climb back onto the pillar and swing the torch through the brazier to relight it.

With the torch lit once again, you hopped down and then Celosia would become afraid of you.  The Dormin said this beast was the keeper of the fire, but you wouldn't guess it by how he cowers from it.  What you had to do at this point was nudge Celosia to the edge of the platform that opens back to the canyon where he'd fall over backwards and shatter the armor on his back exposing the weak point.  Then, it was simply jump atop him and stab him to death.  Well, that's how I remembered it.

The revisit proved to be much different.  When I got atop of him, he was bucking me so much, I couldn't stab him once.  Not once.  I couldn't even get a single mini poke in.  I've talked about how some of the previous colossi shook a lot more, but never did they leave me without a single opportunity to attack before I lost my grip.  I went through a full stamina meter with Celosia and didn't do a single bit of damage.  Once I got thrown off, it got even worse.  He gored me and while I waited excruciatingly to get back up, he gored me again.  Again, and again.  I died, completely unable to defend myself.  I got so frustrated that I started yelling and swearing and when I finally was able to kill the beast, I actually threw my controller out of exasperation.  It forced me to take a break that night.  I have no idea why that fight was so different this time around.

#12 Pelagia

Pelagia was one of the more memorable experiences.  He was another electric projectile spitting turtle like Basaran but unlike Basaran, he swims in a lake.  This is also one of the longer battles as well, and I remember spending close to an hour my first time trying to figure out what to do.  His back can be accessed by just swimming around him as he turns very slowly, and you can climb up to his head, but there are no visible weak points.  The weak point is actually on his chest, which is submerged.  So, the puzzle becomes trying to get him to expose it.

In the lake are three small islands with gazebo-like structures.  I remember wasting a lot of time trying to figure out how to climb them.  I went back to climbing Pelagia and I paid closer attention to the stones on top of his head.  Out of curiosity, I struck one of them with my sword where I was met with a clang and then a jerk of his head as as he moved in that direction.  That's when it struck me. I could control Pelagia by hitting the stones in the direction I wanted him to go in.

I now had a way to reach the top of those structures.  I also remember the jumps were a bit tricky and I failed a couple of times.  Once I got on top of the structures, there was still the matter of trying to get him to expose his weak point.  Once again, merely waiting it out presented the solution.  Staying hidden behind a circular piece of stonework made Pelagia have to rise up of the water to try to find me.  Once he did, I was able to jump on his chest and start stabbing him.  A third of the way through his health, he sunk back into the water washing me off, and then proceeded to destroy the island I was just on.  I had to do this process two more times until he was dead.

#13 Phalanx

Now we're on to my favorite of the 16.  The reason why it's my favorite is because he's the most magnificently designed colossus, beautiful to behold as he flies in the sky and a thrill to try to climb and ride.  It's also one of the longest battles outside of the final colossus. Not only is Phalanx another flying colossus, he can also become subterranean after you attack him causing you to go looking for him.  Unlike the other 15, he's also the only colossus that's completely docile.  He has no methods of attack and is not aggressive in any form.  He just flies around the sky waiting for you to kill him.  Because of this, the most sorrow I ever felt after slaying a colossus was directed towards Phalanx.  Even during a revisit, I regretted killing him. 

The first step in boarding Phalanx is attacking the three bulbous sacks of air on his underside.  One they've deflated, he loses altitude and then drops his wings where they skim the dunes as he just barely glides over them.  This is another fight where riding Argo is integral to success because in order to climb Phalanx, you need to ride alongside those wings leaping from Argo onto them.  Once you've grabbed one of them, Phalanx regains altitude, straightens his wings and then you have to jump from them to his body. 

There are three weak points along his body with scales that have opened to expose them for whatever reason.  Once you strike each weak point, the scales close and Phalanx dives into the sand reemerging from some other dune with those air bags fully inflated.  Once you get the last weak point destroyed, then the mighty Phalanx tumbles back to earth, this time for the last time.  Congrats. You just slayed the most majestic creature of the land. 

#14  Cenobia

Cenobia is probably my least favorite from a creature design perspective only because he's almost a carbon copy of Celosia.  Before this point in the game, each colossus impressed more than the previous, but this encounter felt too familiar.  The grand stage of this fight is what caused the battle to be distinct enough from Celosia's to be memorable in its own right.  Whereas Celosia used only a fraction of his surrounding environment for its battle, Cenobia uses almost each inch of his environment.  

Because you know how Cenobia will act thanks to his similarities to Celosia, you know you shouldn't be on the ground or in front of him.  Thankfully, he's not nearly as tenacious as Celosia when it knocks you down, because you do have a fighting chance to get back up.  There are pillars strewn about the area that you can climb and the goal is to get atop them and get Cenobia's attention to ram them and knock them down.  As each pillar falls, you jump to the next one and eventually, you can reach structures that you follow back to the area you first emerged from.  When Cenobia knocks the final pillar down, it crashes into the wall taking it down and allowing Cenobia to follow you into that area. 

The next part involves climbing up and standing on the ceiling supported precariously by a column.  Cenobia then attacks the column out of rage and causes the ceiling to collapse on him destroying the armor on his back exposing his weak point.  Thanks to Celosia, I dreaded trying to ride this beast while attacking him, because I knew it would be a frustrating experience, but I gritted my teeth and jumped on him.  Thank god it wasn't as bad as Celosia.  Although he still bucked me for all he was worth, I was able to stab him repeatably before I got thrown off.  I only had to get on top of him one more time to finish the job. 

#15 Argus

The one thing I remember about Argus when I first played was getting lost as hell trying to find him.  He's the only colossus that will cause you to get lost along the way if you merely follow the guiding light of your sword.  This is because the path that the sword points you to actually takes you back to Pelagia.  If that happens, you have to do a bit of backtracking and then ago against the guiding light to circle around that path until you're finally back on track to Argus. 

Argus is one of the larger bipedal colossi and has the second largest stone weapon, taking a far backseat to Gaius's club.  The battle takes place in a massive hall with two identical faces on each wall.  There's also two bridges connecting both walls.  The first time I played, it took forever for me to figure how to get up to the bridges.  I knew I couldn't climb Argus from the bottom, so I had to figure out how to get into the walls to make my way up to the bridges.

Running along these walls, I noticed there was a low point where I could almost reach.  While I was trying to figure out how to get up there, Argus stomped his way over, got into position and then stomped on me.  As I got knocked to the ground, I realized the stone I was on was raised up because of Argus stepping on it.  When I got up, he removed his foot from the stone and it came back down,  I had to bait him again and this time I dodged out of the way as he brought his foot back down.  I ran up the makeshift ramp, jumped onto the wall and then proceeded to make my way up to the bridges. 

Of course, being the second to the last battle, it can't just be that simple.  There was another roadblock. I had no access to the next level.  I saw a way to climb up to it, but the handhold was just out of reach.  That's when I noticed Argus pacing back and forth, wondering how to get at me.  I was wondering how to get at him.  It was then that I felt a connection with him that I didn't really feel with the others.  We were both predator and prey to each other, two hunters trying to kill each other.  This should have been a common theme for just about every encounter, but it was in that moment, both of us staring at each other, that it felt stronger.  I decided to make the first move and shot him with my arrow to see what would happen.

Oh, he didn't like that. He raised his cleaver to the side and swung it at me, but me being inside the wall, it only clanged off it loosening blocks down from the ceiling to the ground.  Thanks to these blocks, I could now reach one of the handholds and climb to the next level.  Once there, I was able to run up and access the bridge where I planned on jumping from the moment Argus was within reach.  Except, Argus had one more trick planned for me.  He cocked back his stone cleaver and before I realized what was happening, he swung it overhead and obliterated the bridge I was on causing me to crash back down to the ground.  Ugh... I had to go through this all over again.

Thankfully, I remembered that when I revisited the fight.  Before the cleaver came down on the bridge, I rolled out of the way. After the dust settled, I ran back to what was left of the bridge and let Argus get underneath me.  I then jumped onto him and started stabbing him in the head.  Like just about every colossus before him, he shook a hell of a lot more than I remembered.  Unfortunately, I fell off a couple of times because it's really had to let your stamina regenerate as he not only shakes his head, but his shoulders and back as well.

After I destroyed the weak point in his head, that left him with just a little bit of health left.  Problem was, I couldn't spot any other weak points.  I pulled out my sword and let the light guide me to the next weak point and that's when it pointed to his hand.  Only problem was, it was the hand that held the cleaver.  Tricky bastard.  Once I got back on Argus, I started climbing down his shoulder of the cleaver holding arm where I saw a weak point that I could strike, so I did.  The pain caused Argus to drop his cleaver, thus exposing the final weak point on his hand.  Yet another problem... I couldn't reach it because of a band he had around the wrist.

My only recourse at this point was to hop off him and then employ a tactic I've used on countless colossi: put distance between me and him and see what happens.  Argus, with shot tendons leaving him unable to pick up his cleaver, raised his maimed arm and brought his hand down on me, where I very narrowly managed to dodge.  That's when I was able to reach his hairy palm (grow up).  As he rose his hand up trying to shake me off, I stabbed at his hand until finally, the battle was over.  Now only one left. 

#16 Malus

There's something truly spectacular about Malus, and it's not just his size.  Well, his size along is enough to distinguish himself from the previous 15, but it's everything about his size that makes him spectacular.  He's so large, he can't move.  His armor is a level unto itself.  He demands the largest battlefield of them all, so large in fact that the first quarter of the battle is just trying to get to him.  He encompasses everything there is to be known as a final boss. 

Even though Malus can't move, he's extremely deadly from a distance.  He shoots round after round of explosive fire that shakes the ground and everything with it.  It is impossible to run up to him and live, so instead you have to take a more cautious route.  Reaching him involves a series of barricades and tunnels to keep you out of Malus' line of fire.  Eventually, you end up emerging from one of the tunnels directly beneath Malus.  You're able to climb up the inside of his apron and then you can start climbing him from the outside.

Thanks to a combination of excellent camera work (for once), dark atmospheric conditions, a moody soundtrack, and just a giant beast to climb, the battle with Malus truly feels like the game's climatic final battle.  Once you get about halfway up Malus, you run out of armor to climb, so that's when you have to start thinking about what to do next.  If you run around to his back, you see fur that you climb, but it doesn't go up.  If you strike it, this causes Malus pain and he reaches behind him to try to get you.  His hand is covered in fur as well, so you can leap to it and cling to his hand.  Malus then brings his hand up and turns it over to look at you and if you stab his hand, the pain paralyzes him for just a few moments.  At this point, if you notice his other shoulder, you'll see a weak point you can shoot with an arrow.  Once you shoot it, the pain will cause Malus to bring his hand, the one you're clinging to, over to hold his shoulder.  This is when you can leap to Malus himself and begin climbing to the top of his head... where your patience will be put to the test.

Even from the first time I played, I always had a major problem trying to stab Malus in his head.  Every time I would get ready to strike, he's shake causing me to reaffirm my grip.  Up and down... up and down... up and down.  My stamina would be worn so quickly, I'd have to try to let go and stand on his back to let the stamina regenerate before I could try again.  Being so close to the end of the game only caused the frustration to increase.  It also seems there's a very miniscule area on his head where if you hold on, you won't actually be shaken like a rag doll and can charge your strikes even with Malus' head bobbing up and down.  Even to this day, it seems random so you either have a good grip on him or your don't.  Thankfully, if you're careful, you can never get shaken off him causing you to go through the whole process of climbing him again.  It's just a matter of waiting him out at this point.  Once you've succeeded in killing Malus, then it's back to the temple for the final time where the ending starts to play out but not before providing the player with an unexpected twist....

Wrapping Up

I really wish I could figure out why my most recent play through felt so different. It wasn't like it was when I first played it on the PS2.  Even when I played the remaster for the first time on the PS3, I don't remember it being that frustrating.  My theory is that since I've played it so many times, the magic of the game has worn thin and it wasn't as potent enough to cause me to forgive the game's technical flaws, of which there is many.  I really don't want to say this because of how much I love the game, but Shadow of the Colossus is a technical mess.  Controls, camera, even places where you want him to grip.  They're all unrefined.

This has me hoping that Bluepoint will do more than just remake the graphics.  Maybe they'll have the camera behave a little better.  Maybe they'll improve the controls and up the frame rate so that animations look better and contact feels more real.  The age of the game has caused certain nuances to feel jerky and I'm hoping the remake will have all these kinks ironed out.  

Even being frustrated many times during my revisit, it's still hard for me to hold that against the game.  The game is so epic and so awe inspiring, I think I could play it 20 years from now and still feel at least some percentage of wonder that I had when first played it in 2005.  I'm glad I gave it another spin just a couple of weeks before the PS4 remake, because this way, I'll be able to further appreciate all the changes and improvements the remake will have.  Maybe I'll get to experience that sense of wonder I had the first time I played all over again. 

To all who've read through this in its entirety, I realize it's been a lot.  I haven't written such a long blog post in very long time, so if you made it all the way through, I truly appreciate it.  Thank you for reading!